I am too tired to clean.  I work all day long, take care of my kids and my grandchildren, and then when I am home I don't know where to start.  It seems like whenever I start a project I get distracted and never complete anything.  I feel overwhelmed, what can I do?   

Thanks for your great question.  Just know that you are not the only person who has these exact same feelings.  It sounds like you are really burnt out and need to have some immediate change in your life.  It doesn't have to be major change just something subtle, like making time for yourself.  MaryAnne went through the same thing at your age: she was in a dead-end relationship, her daughter was almost out of high school, etc.  Here are some things we think will help.

1. First, let go of the guilt.  It sounds like your are doing a great job with the busy life you lead.  Figure out what is truly important in your life, spending quality time with your grandchildren or having a spotless house.  In our lives, there are periods of time where we are so busy that the house is not a priority.  It becomes a disaster area, the police could think we have been robbed.  But we know that the house isn't going to stay like that forever, but at that moment we have more important things to do.  When our projects are completed and we have extra time, then we attack the house and get it back into shape.  And then we feel great about what we have accomplished.

2. Take the time to do a life plan. Make a date with yourself to spend 30 minutes, alone, and write out what your goals are.  Start small, right down 3 goals you have. Where do you want to be in 12 months? 36 months? What is the best way to accomplish your goals? Start with small goals: spend a fun evening with your significant other, spend a laugh-filled evening with your girlfriends; Rent that video that you have always wanted to see.  Then right your goals on post-its and put them on your bathroom mirror so you can remember and visualize what your are working for.  When is the last time you had fun?

3. Third, make a cleaning plan.  Be brutally honest and write down what you want to accomplish in your own home.  Then figure out a calendar that you can follow.  If you are really busy, you may only accomplish one project in a weekend.  Schedule an appointment with yourself to clean out your closet for 1 hour and 30 minutes, then set a timer at 20 minute intervals, and begin.  Don't let anything distract you: don't answer the phone, talk to your kids, watch TV.  Put on some upbeat music that makes you feel good and conquer that closet.  Then when you are done, that is it.  Celebrate what you have accomplished.  Summer is almost here - what do you want your home to look like?

4. Start throwing out.  You have to downsize.  This makes organizing and cleaning your home so much easier.  MaryAnne says she "likes to see the wall meet the floor."  If you don't know where to start you can even take pictures of the inside of you home and then it is easier to see where to begin.  But if you don't take pictures then start with your own closet.  Tell yourself that this is all you will organize and then you will be done for the day.  Open up the closet and remove everything.  Have garbage bags ready to fill up with the stuff you will give away and the other stuff you will throw out.  Maybe even have a girlfriend or a daughter tell you if the stuff you try on looks good and is worth keeping or if it has to go.  In your situation, we recommend throwing out as much as possible.  When you need to get clean fast, it is too hard to think about what charity any item should go to, just get rid of it.  The next time you clean out your closet, you will be in a better position to go through the items and give to charity. 

 MaryAnne threw out worn stockings she couldn't tell were snagged or not, threw out her shorts with bleach spots, threw out 15 t-shirts, etc.  We always say there are only 7 days in a week, and usually people do laundry at least once a week, so why do you need 30 t-shirts or 15 pairs of white socks? Your goal is to reduce and this is the best way to do it.  MaryAnne ended up getting rid of most of the stuff in her bedroom (she even bought a smaller mattress), she even changed the color scheme of her room and the position of her bed.  She now has a very minimalistic room, that is bright and cheery and easy to clean. 

5. The easiest thing to do is to add some fresh flowers to your home.  Fresh flowers make any home look so much nicer. 

 

Good luck and we hope to hear from you.  You might want to go to Barnes & Noble or Borders and take a look at the books about beautifying your home by Alexandra Stoddard, these books motivated Jeanne to change her room. 

MaryAnne and Jeanne